Stefania

**USA clients: I will be in NYC & Miami this fall (Sept/Oct). For more information: xostefania.nl/travel

(I’m sorry to make you jump through hoops for information! I know it’s annoying!)

My rates start at $600 for 90 minutes. To see them listed in full: xostefania.nl/rates

The FIRST thing you should do is check me out on Twitter. If you don’t like my sense of humour, we will never get along in person. I like making fun of idiots online (believe me, there are A LOT) and making people laugh, so if you’re a normal client, you’ll have a hoot with me.

I’m not very good at writing these introduction posts fluffing me up to be this amazing person with gorgeous soft skin, long legs or whatever else you are probably used to reading. The thought of describing myself like that makes me snort because it is so, SO far from who I am. Let me tell you a story about me instead.

When I first started in this industry, I was convinced I had to be this token dream person. I had wealthy clients take me to fancy restaurants and expensive, lavish trips. I had to dress to the nines in clothes I hated and wear uncomfortable shoes.

Confession: I hated (mostly) every second of it.

I do not mean I dislike those activities in general, I just dislike them with the wrong people and prefer to share those experiences with people I don’t have to fake liking.

Because of these experiences, I have learned to be very selective on who I see. Some people can truly never pay me enough to make it worthwhile being in their company for longer than a second.

Full transparency: I’m not really a good actress. If I don’t like someone, the emotional energy it takes to be in their presence is like dying a slow death. Have you ever met a person you have zero chemistry and nothing in common with, and discovered how uncomfortably awkward it is trying to have a conversation with them, and you just want to exit the situation as quick as you can? Now imagine having to force conversation with that person for four long hours. Can’t you just feel my discomfort right now through those words?

My ideal client is one that seeks out to connect with me on a real human basis, not expecting me to put on a fake disguise of “perfection” that is something I’m not. I want you to get to know the real, unfiltered version of me that can sometimes be clumsy and trip over her own shoes, swear too much for her own good, miss non-verbal cues to STFU when she gets into a endless tangent about God knows what, and gets into headed rants about how much Game of Thrones’s final season suuuuucked. Does this sound like someone you want to meet? We might just get along after all.

I take pride in being a person you will never have to wonder, “Is she being genuine or faking it?” If you are fortunate enough to make it into my list of favourite suitors, you can rest assured you truly do belong there and my appreciation for you is as real as it gets.

More random trivia about me: I am currently finishing my undergrad as I slave away trying to get into grad school. I hope to eventually go as far as my PhD – I have buckled up and am ready for the long journey ahead of me. As much as school hurts me and drains my life and soul at times, it is also something I am super passionate about.

Is that enough about me? I sure hope so. You’re a true champ if you made it to the very end of this ramble. If you want to learn more, you’ll have to come meet me in person. Like I warned though, I can be VERY chatty and I don’t want to ever hear a comment about it as if you never warned.

If this still hasn’t scared you off, then perhaps consider taking it a step further out of this ad and making an actual date out of it. I’ll be waiting!