Many people find that their sexuality continues to be fluid long after puberty, and as they age, their vanilla interests may become sullied with good ol' fashioned kink. What fun!
If you find yourself at this point in your life, you may be wondering how best to explore it. It can be intimidating to bring up these issues, especially if you're single. Discussing sexuality can be a source of vulnerability to begin with, but especially so when it pertains to masculine men seeking an arrangement that relieves them of the pressure and control they have day-to-day.
This is when you may find yourself searching for a divine fetish professional to help you explore those undeveloped desires. If you've hired an escort before, you'll be familiar with the process of finding someone who is a good fit, but if you haven't, it can be terrifying to start. While every entertainer runs their business differently, figuring out how to determine whether an entertainer will be a right fit for you can make or break your experience.
This is especially important when looking for BDSM practitioners. There is a certain level of skill that is necessary to communicate clearly and play safely. BDSM practitioners also need to be well-versed in the potential ethical issues surrounding kink and consent. Lastly, novices will want to find someone who is capable of providing a sensual, satisfying exchange while also making their client feel safe and comfortable.
Here are a few tips for navigating the scary world of finding a fetish provider:
1. Know what you're interested in.
Sometimes, this can be the toughest step! Even if you have an inkling as to what you are seeking, it can be hard to discern the line between fantasy and reality. That's completely normal!
The best way to get a better handle on what you are looking for is to find various providers who fit your general preferences, and look at their website to see what kind of activities interest them. If you're unfamiliar with the terminology, Google is your friend.
Create three short lists: One of activities you feel confident you'll like, one of activities that you are unsure of, and one of activities that are no-gos.
2. Vet your provider.
Did you read the details of their ads, profiles, sites? Do you feel like they represent themselves clearly? Are they comfortable with the appropriate BDSM nomenclature? Is their site active and regularly updated?
While some people find reviews helpful, they are not a guarantee that you will jive well with an entertainer. The most important thing is to trust your gut.
3. Reach out...after you know what to say.
Many providers screen their new clients, and they will detail what information they need from you in either their ads or on their website. Don't be intimidated by this step! Send the information that they request as soon as possible; the more emails you have to exchange, the longer it may take to set up your date with them.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Even the most experienced, intuitive fetish professionals aren't mind-readers! Be forthright about what you are looking for, and share those lists you made in step one with them. Find out how they prefer to communicate during the time you'll spend with them, and do so. Your provider of choice knows how to have that conversation before, during, and after the moment; it's unlikely for them to be offended by you expressing what you are feeling. Make sure to keep your communication respectful, too. Respecting your provider will ensure that they value and respect you in return.
Most importantly, have fun!
This seems like a lot of information, but this is the hardest part. Once you get through all of this, you will be able to relax and enjoy yourself.