Alice No Malice’s Cover Photo

Alice No Malice

+A Beautiful & Brilliant Blend

Alice No Malice’s Avatar

::dosis sola facit venenum::
::the dose makes the poison::

I am a beautiful, well educated, ridiculously polite, deeply feeling, and rambunctious woman. What a list! ;) My disposition is a product of my upbringing - a mix of the Wild West and Wholesome Heartland. It is my pleasure to give you my full attention and care.

Over the last half of my life, I have lived, worked, and learned internationally - I have many great stories that go well with a glass of wine or tea. I would enjoy sharing tales of our lives with one another while we cuddle. Through genuinely connecting, we can better discover how we fit best together.

I was born and raised in the Upper Midwest, a cultural mix of the “wild west” and the “wholesome heartland.” Yes, I worked on farms! While well mannered and sweet, I enjoy various kinds of untamed and passionate fun - just ask! At 5’9,” with long blonde hair, green eyes, and some faint freckles, I am the urban-based farmgirl of your dreams. Purusing my photos can help you to give you an idea of the range my experiences in life have granted me.

My body is slender and toned from all the dancing and gymnastics I do, but the first thing you might notice about me are my hands and feet - they are elegant and prettily painted. Beyond my nails, I am a bit of an aesthetic minimalist - I wear very little make-up and prefer rich textures to flashy colors. When we meet for the first time, I’ll likely be in an all-black outfit and heels. If we were to go to a game together, I would dress up a pair of high-tops and wear big hoop earrings. No matter what I’m doing, I always like to look chic.

I so enjoy the anticipation I feel while we exchange messages and plan our date. No matter what or when we schedule, our time spent together will always be a pleasure.

In care and never malice…


The Look

Alice No Malice is a 5'9", all natural, 32 year old caucasian woman with long blonde hair and green eyes.

She is available for Men, Women, Couples, and TV/TS.


I have enjoyed writing since I can remember. My work has evolved from fictional short stories of fearless protagonists to autobiographical prose - so not too much has changed… ;)

Over the past few years, I have merged two of my favorite activities - cycling and dancing - to begin training as a bike ballerina. I bike dance around the Bay on a special bicycle on which I am able to stand-up and balance in a variety of positions as it moves - maybe you’ve seen me?! When I bike dance, I use my body in a very powerful yet graceful way that I find incredibly satisfying.

I also enjoy gaming - tabletop roleplaying games (D&D 2nd Edition is my favorite), board games, and cards. My favorite computer series is Monkey Island (hit me with a sword-fighting insult if you know it!). Nerds are very welcome to inquire. <3


As I will extend kind and generous treatment to you, I expect the same from you.

I am available for incalls to my private space in Oakland or select outcalls, and I schedule a minimum of 90 minutes of time for $700.

$1000/2 hours (+$400/additional hour)

$3,500/Night Out On The Town


For weekends or travel, let me know and we can discuss our options.

If you would like to evolve a longer term arrangement with me, through which we share photos and messages in between in-person meetings - let’s talk, I so enjoy these kinds of deeper, extended connections.

I am only available for sessions scheduled at least 24 hours out, and my schedule does fill as I am low volume.

To connect with me, please email me your name, a brief visual description of yourself, and the name and email address of someone like me you have seen in the past.

Contact Info