Screening is the single most important factor in independent escorting. It’s the first thing I was taught about by my mentor, and the first thing I mention to any sex work curious women I encounter. The only dangerous encounters I’ve had have been due to a lack of screening, a mistake on my part when I was new and still getting used to communicating with potential clients (RIP Craigslist Personals). The few times I have met, for coffee or a drink, the gentlemen that insisted their personal information remain so, who insisted on a word I’ve come to detest – discretion – things have never gone great, even if they became a regular client.
Screening provides a comfort level for everyone. Feeling comfortable is sexy. If I agree to see someone without screening, I feel edgy, angry at myself, and scared. I don’t mind seeing newbies, I love being someone’s first experience in this world. I do require work info, like a LinkedIn Profile for that. The information is only for me and stays with me. It disappoints me when a gentleman becomes paranoid and refuses to provide this information due "discretion."
Why? Because that gentleman is communicating, in no uncertain terms, that his preference for privacy is more important than my very real, here and now, need for physical safety.
And, fine sirs, you are welcome to vet us as well. There’s no need to request photos or FaceTime calls. Here are some surefire ways to know you are getting what is promised:
- Verified photos through an advertising site
- Social media profiles
- A blog or website written in the same voice as the ad, and with the same person in the photos
- Screening required
There should be plenty of information readily available to vet an escort. It’s the clients about whom there is no information without a request. I use a call screening app, which can be extremely helpful, as workers will write notes to each other in the form of spam reports. However, smart scammers know to change their burner numbers when this happens. Using the intuition honed by a couple years in this business I have – on occasion – asked men who had a couple negative reviews on a call screening app about said reviews. Twice I met such gentlemen and they were perfectly lovely. No system is foolproof.
Occasionally a gentleman may ask what I do with their information. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I just know that you are less likely to pull anything funny when I know who you are and where you work. Sometimes your provider reference may also have information on your preferences that may serve us both if I know them in advance. I don’t feel comfortable having explicit conversations with a man I’ve never met, but it’s okay if your reference tells me. It’s that simple.
I have heard of escorts deleting even clients phone numbers after visiting with them, giving a code word should they need to use her in the future as a reference so she will know she has seen them. The point of it all is to feel safe and comfortable. There is nothing sexier than that. When a gentleman is forthcoming with references and screening info, I feel instantly respected. I feel that "this is a man who gets it." Who I can share a nice time with. There is something uniquely intimate about our time – it’s a world that truly exists just between us.
And, you know, occasionally your golfing buddies.