I’ve only hired a companion once before and it did not go good. I’m interested in trying again, but I have no idea how I can be sure who to trust. Some “screening” requires me to provide my photo ID or linkedin profile. That’s way too intense for what I’m looking for but I want a good experience. Where should I be looking?
Hello there, timid intimacy traveler! I was wondering how long it would be before I got the opportunity to answer a sex work-related quandary. Thank you for providing me with an excuse to talk shop.
First, I can in no way make predictions about the quality of another provider’s services, nor can I anticipate your potential chemistry or compatibility with said provider. What I CAN promise you, however, is that when it comes to booking a sex worker, there is typically a correlation between increased security protocol and the provider’s legitimacy, experience level and professionalism.
When a sex worker requires screening information from new clients in order to book, it says a number of things about them:
- That they have a certain level of privilege. More marginalized workers (PoC, transgender workers, street-based workers, etc) often don’t have access to the same screening methods that less marginalized workers do, which means that they often take on an elevated level of risk when meeting with clients. And even when marginalized workers are afforded the opportunity to screen clients, many of them opt not to, knowing that some clients - like you, reader - will balk at the request and will simply go find another provider who doesn’t screen. If you’re not getting much work to begin with, you’ll be much more likely to forgo screening at the risk of losing out on that money.
- That they’ve accumulated a certain level of experience (and trust me, experience is sexy). Workers that are newer to the industry lack many of the skills and tools of the trade that come with increased time and practice. This includes dexterity around negotiating sessions and keeping themselves safe. Whether a provider’s lack of screening protocol is an access issue or an experience issue, you should prioritize those professionals who take screening seriously.
- That they value their time. You should, too. The sex industry is notoriously rife with time wasters. Seasoned providers know that for every ten people who inquire about sessions, only one or two will actually pan out to be a paying customer (and that’s the best case scenario!). Some people enjoy the adrenaline rush of contacting a provider, but have no intention of ever booking them. Some people have a lot of shame tied into their desire to purchase sexual services, and will let their shame get the better of them and turn noncommittal in the middle of negotiations. Some people believe that sex work is evil and abhorrent and actually get off on setting providers up to fail. Meanwhile, we don’t get compensated for any of the time and labor we hemorrhage when dealing with these time wasters. The more screening-related hoops a potential client is willing to jump through, the less likely they are to be a time waster.
- That they’re concerned about their safety, and rightfully so. Violence against sex workers is a worldwide epidemic fueled by consistent stigmatization of the profession. Sex workers are stereotypically billed as either victims or criminals. Victimization strips sex workers of their agency and autonomy, infantilizing us in the public’s eye and insinuating that we’re all coerced or enslaved. Criminalization seeks to dismiss sex work as legitimate labor and perpetuates the notion that sex workers “get what they deserve”. Perpetrators of violence know that the relationship between sex workers and law enforcement is antagonistic at best, and this empowers them to assault, rob, and murder sex workers knowing full well that a) Sex workers will be less likely to report the crime to the police, and b) The police will be less likely to investigate the crime that’s committed.
Sex workers also have to worry about “stings”, which are coordinated instances where a police officer poses as a client and then arrests the worker when they go to meet them. By providing identifying information such as your legal name, place of employment, traceable internet footprint, copy of your ID, etc, the worker is not only able to confirm that you’re not a predator, but they’re also able to confirm that you’re not a cop.
“But what will they DO with my information?” many n00bs still cry out, “What if they blackmail me?!”
To that argument I simply say: get over yourselves. Sex workers have no interest in complicating – or compromising – your life. We have the best social boundaries of any tradesperson around, and we’re much too busy with our own lives to consider ruining yours. Plus, it benefits us financially to keep you in our circle as a trusted client. If we went around outing our clients willy-nilly, word would travel fast and we’d be out of a job.
All of that being said, if none of these justifications for provider screening protocols resonate with you, reader, then I suggest you do all the “companions” out there a favor and stick to jerking off in the privacy of your own home.
Best of luck to you!
If you have your own questions about sex, love, relationships, or any of the moving parts involved therein, drop Andre a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Be sure to use the subject line "Ask Andre," so we know where to direct your thoughtful questions.