Let’s face it: Having sex in public is hot. Unfortunately, it’s also illegal and could get you put on the sex offender’s list if you actually get caught. Since being on that list is pretty much the end of, well, everything, I thought I’d give you all some tips on how to feed that little (or big) exhibitionist streak without breaking the law.

1. Do it in the window.

Walking around nude in your own apartment with the blinds up is legal in most places as long a there’s no “lewd intent.” That’s means it’s cool to come out of the shower with no towel on when the shades are up, but it’s not cool to come out of the shower with no towel on stroking your raging hard-on.

Actual sex is a whole other story and the results definitely vary by location. Gossip in suburban neighborhoods in Denver, Colorado would probably be stoked for years by one shades-up sexual display, while residents of big cities like New York pretty much expect to catch other people in the act on occasion. It’s a part of the charm of city living!

While getting it on right up against the glass on the ground floor is generally unadvisable, if you’re in an apartment way up high you can probably get away with it. If you’re not a resident of a big city, there’s a hotel in New York with floor to ceiling windows that’s known for couples humping up against the glass. Might want to consider it for your next vacation…

Voyeur pro-tip: Take a stroll down the High Line Park (which passes underneath the hotel) for a very different kind of tourist experience.

Regardless of your location, if you’re interested in this kind of exhibitionism, please, please check your local laws before “forgetting” to pull the curtains. Also, investing in some billowy opaque curtains never hurt anyone.

2. A public buzz.

Imagine getting your girl off in a crowded room and no one having any idea that she was getting wetter and wetter. I know it sounds like something out of a teen vampire novel, but it’s not magic; it’s real.

With toys like Cry Baby and Bnaughty Unleashed, you can have very public sex with a guarantee of never getting caught. All it takes is a vibrator that she either wears inside her underwear or inserts into her pussy while you hold the remote control. You get to decide when she starts to buzz, a move that simultaneously plays into exhibitionist and dom/sub play.

My personal favorite time is during a conversation: There’s just something about so, so hot about trying to hold a thought - much less carry on a coherent discourse – without giving away the fact that your lover is directly stimulating you.

3. Sex parties.

This is another one that’s location-based so, again, please check your local laws. While some states are totally reasonable about allowing consenting adults engage in sexual acts with more than one individual at a time, others are not so down with the group getting down.

If you’re lucky enough to live in a state that allows sex parties (or you can drive to one), these are perfect opportunities for exhibitionism. Many parties have designated play areas where you can participate and/or witness all kinds of lovely depravity. Participants in sex parties tend to be really respectful, so even if you and your partner have agreed to keep it just between the two of you during your first sex party (one of many rules I’d recommend for newbies), you shouldn’t have a problem as long as you let everyone else know.

4. Getting it on online.

The internet was probably the number one greatest innovation for exhbitionists worldwide, with the built-in camera taking a close second. All of a sudden the options for exposing yourself are practically infinite.

Chatroulette or similar webcam-based chat sites are the closest thing online that a person can find to the in real life exhibitionist experience. For those of you who haven’t heard of it yet, the basic structure is that you get to flip through as many video images of a chat partner that you want.

What you do on the other end is up to you, and Chatroulette in particular has built up a reputation for being the site for exhibitionist masturbators and the occasional daring couple.

Another online option is camming, which is also sometimes called video sex when it involves sexual acts. You can cam with someone you know or you can pay someone to cam with you. Either way, there will be someone on the other end watching your every move.

Not enough for you?

So, exhibitionists everywhere, those are your options for ways to get your rocks off while someone watches, without ending up in prison. However, if none of them work for you, might I recommend skydiving?