Sex, Death, and the Court of Law

Mama K’s Avatar Article by Blog Slixa Late Night

The thoughtful advice and opinions of the author of this article are meant to be informative and entertaining and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Slixa.

Step one: Stay the F out of Texas

The thing about this case and subsequent sensational headlines: "Texas Says It's OK to Shoot an Escort If She Won't Have Sex With You" — we pray it isn't true, there's some kind of mistake, a mis-trial or possibility for an appeal. The opposite side of the coin is that this trial becomes case law, an example that other cases can look to, a demonstration of the standards of the community, agreed on by a jury of the killer's peers. It seems that in Texas you can get 12 people to agree that deadly force is acceptable when $150 is on the line. via Jury Acquits Escort Shooter

Just the facts:

"A witness told police Gilbert paid for a specific amount of time with Frago but became angry when she left before they had sex, the report said. He asked for his money back, and when she got into the car without returning his payment, Gilbert fired shots at the passenger side, hitting Frago, the report said." - Woman in Critical Condition after Shooting

Gilbert felt he did not receive what he had paid for and therefore Frago was stealing his money. This case shows and proves that in Texas property and cash are worth more than human life. Speculations arise that race and gender may be a factor in the decision as well. The shooter was a white male, the victim a hispanic female. 

More questions arise; if it wasn't necessarily legal for Frago to explicitly charge for the act of sex, how is it possible Gilbert can legally 'defend' this 'contract' with deadly force? The result of this case is that the law in Texas can be interpreted to suggest that $150 is worth more than the life of a 23 year old woman.

Using deadly force to defend property:

We get it, the customer is always right. I have a background in customer service and I agree wholeheartedly most of the time. BUT in reality, sometimes the customer is not 'right' — maybe they are over reacting, or they have unrealistic expectations or they're bat-shit sociopathic. 

My sad mind wonders: Did Gilbert get his money back? Did shooting at Frago fix his problem? Did it prevent Frago from taking his money? As she was bleeding from her gunshot wound did he retrieve the cash from her handbag?

When did we decide that violence or guns actually fix problems, rather than causing much larger ones? Shouldn't it be the law's job to guide this moral compass, explaining and educating us as to what is morally and realistically acceptable behavior in society? Shouldn't the law teach us that life is worth more than inanimate objects? Doesn't the constitution weigh in on something like this?

For more explanation on how this decision played out, check out this post and comment from 'a lawyer' - Texas jury says that sometimes, killing an escort is okay.

Escorts have boundaries:

It's true — as do sex workers, porn stars, sexy women on the street, 'sluts', MILFs, and anyone really who might enjoy sex at some time or another. This means they are not obligated to give it all up, every time with anyone who is so kind as to buy them dinner or otherwise throw them a bone. Escorts work with boundaries and that's how they survive, they communicate these boundaries and make decisions about what they will do on a date based on a lot of factors. In this case we might not know why the victim didn't end up having sex with the client. At the minium it was a big miscommunication. 

The Raw Story puts it bluntly: "the jury disagreed (with the prosecution) and thought that giving a man a right to tell a woman that her options are rape or death is A-OK with them, if she accepted money from him... Basically, you’re seeing the same problem that you see with “stand your ground” laws and other such laws that give people broad rights to shoot outside of immediate self-defense." via Texas Jury Says It’s Cool To Murder Prostitutes For Not Having Sex With You

How you can stay safe:

When something like this hits the headlines we start to wonder, could this happen again? Has precedent been set? First things first, I repeat my initial statement — if you can: Stay the F out of Texas!

Screen your clients. Communicate with them about their expectations and yours. If someone gets mad, violent or demands their money back, do what they ask and get yourself away from the situation, any amount of money is not worth loosing your life. Carry pepper spray or another tool for self defense. has more to say on the general sentiment behind this ruling and what we can do: "We need to kill this myth of the righteously aggrieved client once and for all. It’s a myth that enables men to blackmail, rob, rape, and kill sex workers..."

"don’t let a single client bemoan the risk he takes by submitting to a screening form when escorts are, indisputably, disproportionately, and aggressively targeted for arrest, police violence, extortion by friends and family, abuse from violent men posing as clients, and life-ruining stigma when outed. They do not suffer a fraction of what we suffer. That lie ends now." - The Big Ripoff: TER, The Texas Murder Aquittal, and the Myth of the Vulnerable Client

We mourn the loss of this young woman and the sanity of our judicial system. It is time we stand our ground and don't allow the system to define who's right and who has the power. I'm sending love and protection out to everyone reading this. Stay safe and stay alive.

More reading...

Asking for What You Really Want as a Client of an Adult Provider

What's my favorite word? It's not my name. It's the one little world that might just get you exactly what you want if you use it correctly. Ask and you may just receive.

The Story Behind Slutwalk: A Slut by any Other Name Would March the Same

What's in a name? Is being called a "slut" really still insulting to the modern day feminist? Perhaps not. After all, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you. At least that's what the old adage would have us believe.

Return to Slixa Late Night