While you may stick to regular texting or DMs for your day to day and personal communications, it’s not a bad idea to consider using an entirely separate app (one where you have more control over who sees what and who gets access) for Distance Dating communications. After all, these are likely to be ultra-personal exchanges between you and chosen online paramours; keeping them private and secure is paramount for both parties.

With a little bit of research, you can find a messaging app that fits your needs and offers features that allow you to keep your communications private while keeping your connections profitably engaged.


WhatsApp has become something of a global standard over the last 5-6 years and it boasts a user base of over 1.5 billion active WhatsAppers. The downside of this scale is that this makes it a hotbed for misinformation and manipulated information (or propaganda) sharing. What sex workers (online or not) should be concerned most with, however, is that WhatsApp shares information directly with Facebook, whether you connect it or not. Metadata like your phone number and every time you log in or use the app is tied to your Facebook account and stored by Facebook.

World class encryption built into WhatsApp means your transmitted messages aren’t available to third parties, but we suggest trusting Facebook exactly as far as you can throw them, when it comes to secrets or private details.

What’s Great What’s Less Great
End to end and verifiable encryption Facebook. WhatsApp is Facebook.
Send files up to 100mb App stores GPS info, metadata, and shares with Facebook by default
Voice calling No built-in gifs
Your racist uncle is more likely to already be on it

We Say: Better safe than sorry. WhatsApp's risks and connection to Facebook outweigh the ease and convenience it offers. You can do better.  ❌


Sadly, SnapChat has already seen its rise and fall in the coolness department, with Kylie Jenner almost singlehandedly destroying them back in 2018 over a universally disliked redesign:

And while it is still used as a tool for online sex work (those premium snaps are still going strong in 2020), that usage does technically violate the Snap TOS, and can get your account suspended or shut down entirely if you get caught. It’s also a bit of an overwhelming interface for users who might not be familiar with it already, and that can be perceived as adding unnecessary ‘distance’ between you and your admirers.

What’s Great What’s Less Great
Easy to make and send quick videos and pics with filters and effects. Paid use (selling memberships or access) is prohibited by Snap TOS
No file sharing capabilities
Potentially difficult user experience for viewers
Text messages and group chats are NOT encrypted

We Say: Worth considering who your audience is – older generations may be disinclined to struggle with Snap's confusing interface, and that could impact your conversion of paid followers. There's better choices. ❌


Telegram is trusted by evildoers the world over and is beholden to no corporate overlord (their CEO frequently ridicules the security issues of platforms like WhatsApp). Whether you like how it works or not, is up to you. But for the purpose of maintaining secure communication, private 1-way channels, the power to share photo or video content, and secure/encrypted voice chat, Telegram is our all-around pick as the best choice for Distance Dating applications.

Telegram allows you to create private channels (to which you can offer paid access) allowing you to share whatever type of content you want (TOS restrictions don’t prevent you from sharing hardcore or explicit photos or video here) with your hand-selected audience.

Telegram also allows for end-to-end encryption and time-delayed full delete from both devices (yours and his) in Secret Chat mode. Add encrypted voice chat (encrypted video/group video is rumoured to be coming soon) and endless sticker packs and built in gifs and we can’t think of a platform we like better.

What’s Great What’s Less Great
Private Channels with File Sharing Telegram uses proprietary encryption and not an industry standard.
End to end encryption in Secret Chat May be unfamiliar to some users
Late and Time-delayed full delete in Secret Chat Groups and Channels are not end-to-end encrypted
Does not connect to Twitter or Facebook or share usage information.

We Say: Adaptability is the name of the game here. Telegram offers a number of ways to connect with individuals or groups, encryption options, and late-stage delete from all devices. How you make it work for you is up to you.  ✅


If privacy and safety are your primary concerns, Signal is the one to beat in this competition. Built on Signal Protocol, Signal messenger is endorsed by journalists and security experts worldwide as a secure means of both text and voice communication. While it might feel a little dry in the features department, the fact that the NSA and AG Barr are still looking to backdoor access into their platforms should offer users some comfort about how strong the fort currently is.

What’s Great What’s Less Great
Default verifiable end-to-end encryption Feels clinical and uncustomizable
Encrypted Voice and Video chat
Share photos, videos, or files.

We Say: If your top priority is security and safety, you can't beat Signal. But it's not made or ideal for content sharing or membership.  ✅

Google Hangouts

Convenience is the name of the game on this one – everybody’s got a google account and already knows how to use it. But Google Hangouts are not end-to-end encrypted (although Google claims messages are encrypted “in transit”). This means that Google has full access to any messages, video chats, or files shared once they are on Google servers. Google’s own Transparency Report clearly states that they receive and fulfill "requests for customer information" with some regularity, Hangouts is the obvious horse to ignore in this race.

What’s Great What’s Less Great
Easy to use and already available to users. Everything you share is available to Google or LE upon request 👮‍♂️
No end-to-end encryption.
Connected directly to your Google account

We Say: Google is never ideal for adult content to begin with. Their TOS restricts it, and they've been known to shut down entire accounts for violations. Add their willingness to comply with requests for customer data and you can easily do better as far as messaging apps are concerned. ❌

There’s a ton of weight that goes toward personal preference when it comes to choosing an app that you’ll use (and likely need to ask fans or viewers to download and set up to engage you) for private communications, so you should definitely do what feels right to you. But there are clear winners and losers when it comes to protecting your privacy (and the privacy of those who connect), and the breadth of features offered.

Slixa’s top choice is a toss up between the more fully-featured Telegram Messenger, and the more sterile seeming (but arguably safer) Signal Messenger. They’ll both get the job done and help create a space for you to safely engage with friends and fans to further your Distance Dating adventures.

Find out more about Telegram here.

Find out more about Signal here.