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Lacey Teas

+Surrealist siren and colorful cuddly companion

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Am I your cup of tea? Let’s find out

I’m not the person next door, I’m that punk rock chick that lives down the block that makes you wonder “I wonder what she’s all about”. Curious? Inquire within to find out, but first a little hint.

One of my biggest delights in life is meeting new people and feeling the chemistry build as we exchange furtive glimpses and little smiles. I bring a huge curiousity and a variety of life experiences to pepper our conversations. Feeling a littly shy? That’s ok, I excel at making you feel comfortable and soon enough we’ll be wrapped up in the moment together.

I have a background as a performance and installation artist, as well as years of experience doing costume design and improv theater. My “vanilla” job is to create immersive experiences that wow the the senses and boggle the mind, I like to bring a little of that to this work. Despite my love of make believe and storytelling I am 100% genuine and I treasure getting deep in conversation, chatting about our favorite books and talking about the beauty and the tragedy of being alive.

I pride myself in my ability to be blend in or stand out when needed (yes this is possible, even with bright pink hair). I am just as comfortable in a punk rock dive bar as I am at a gallery show or an elegant restaurant.

My body is athletic but curvaceous and I adore sensuous touch and I love to reciprocate. I have lots of tattoos, and they all have good stories. I’d love to tell you about how I got them.

I am usually available in San Francisco and East Bay, but visit New York occasionally. Please ask about private travel, I make an excellent travel companion and snuggle buddy.

The Look

Lacey Teas is a 5'8", curvy, all natural, 33 year old caucasian woman with shoulder length hair and grey eyes.

She is available for Men, Women, Couples, and TV/TS.

Interests

I have many interests, varying from genteel to surreal.

Botanical: tending to my rose garden, visiting gardens often to see the seasonal blooms, and maintaining my luscious indoor jungle

Social: hosting tea parties and brunches, and my favorite of all the dinner party. Entertaining is one of my greatest joys

Artistic: modeling as a real doll/doing dolly photo shoots, creating science fiction/medical themed installation art, designing costumes and accessories for my art pieces.

Athletic: cycling, pilates, weight lifting and walking as often and as long as I can.

Epicurean: eating organ meats and bone marrow, visiting the farmers market, tucking into a perfectly prepared bone in pork chop, making my own sausage from scratch.

Currently reading: A Tale for the Time Being and My Lesbian Experience with Lonliness

Expectations

Available in San Francisco and the greater Bay Area until further notice. I am passport ready and always available to fly to you!

Send me a note with what dates and times you’re interested in booking for our date, include a quick intro and your references so we can get started with screening. I’m available for spontaneous dates if my schedule allows, and if you’ve been pre screened.

My rates are:

$500 for one hour
$750 for 90 minutes
$1,000 for two hours
$1,400 for three hours
$1,800 for four hours
$3,600 for overnight (min of 8 hrs uninterupted sleep)

My hotel or yours? If you would like me to procure a hotel there will be an additional $150 fee.

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