The vast selection of rubbers available in your local pharmacy can be a bit daunting go online and the selection is astronomical: brands, sizes, flavors, lubes, studs, ribs, swirls, warming, tingling, colors, materials. You should always have a few options in your condom stash for different anatomy; small, regular, and horescock. So here is a little information to help you on your quest for the perfect prophylactic for pleasurable penetration. After all, choosing the best condom for you will make your life a whole lot sexier...

To lube or not to lube?

While it is rare to find non-lubricated condoms, they do exist (generally the gas station 3 pack). I’ve noticed they have a shorter shelf life than lubricated condoms, and tend to have a very heavy latex smell and taste. Although I avoid them when I have better option, they are perfectly safe to use. Just be sure to add your own lube for added fun and to prevent breakage. Most condoms available come lubricated and no two condom manufacturers use the same lube. Within the same brand lubes can vary as well. For instance, I love the lube on Trojan Supra condoms, but the lube on Trojan Magnum condoms is extremely irritating and tastes horrid to me. I’ve found that anything labeled "sensitive," "thin," or "ultra-thin" generally have the best lubrication, taste, and do not have a heavy latex smell.

It tingles. It warms. It numbs. It taste like strawberries...don’t use it for heavy bonin' days! The chemical compounds used to create these “special effects” can seriously throw off your vaginal pH and can be irritating to your partners urethra and/or foreskin. Save the “special effects” for days that are a little bit lazier. I would also not recommend using condoms lubricated with nonoxynol 9, commonly called non-9/nox-9, or any other spermicide. A 2002 World Health Organization study found using non-9 spermicide condoms with great frequency (great frequency defined as more than once a day) can cause disruption of the vaginal walls at a cellular level thus increasing your risk of contracting STIs/STDs including HIV.

It’s made of what???

Latex condoms are just that: sap from a rubber tree, stabilizing agents, vulcanizing agents, preservatives and dyes. Latex! They are widely available and the most commonly used type of condom.

Another thing to consider when condom shopping are latex allergies, reactions can range from mild skin irritation to death by anaphylaxis. Yes, death in the throes of passion sounds great but, um what are YOU going to do with the body? Below are the 4 types of non-latex condoms (including lambskin) that are potential contenders in the race of condom greatness:

  • Polyurethane: Only available in standard size and not as stretchy as regular latex condoms
  • Polyisoprene: Available in standard and larger sizes and just a stretchy as latex condoms
  • Nitrile female condoms
  • Lambskin condoms are made of BAHHHHH! sheep intestine and should not be used for heavy use as they only offer protection from pregnancy, but not STIs. These are great for a monogamous couple looking to prevent pregnancy. They are a bit expensive (average $10 for a box of 3) but, surprisingly enough, are not hard to find at your local pharmacy.

Mr. XYZ Size Penis

Now most guys can wear a regular size condom but prefer large or magnum for comfort. There are those who are just too small for regular condoms and the only two options I’ve found for these folks are Lifestyles snuggies or using a female condom. On the other side of the spectrum, those gentlemen with abnormally large anatomy generally bring their own large condoms; with the truly large special friends I will opt to use female condoms as well.

Condoms are truly a personal preference, and you might need to try more than twenty before you find your favorite. I would suggest buying variety packs to see what might work best for you; once you find your favorite, move to online shopping! It is usually cheaper, and the cashier doesn’t look at you like you’re a slut when buying your second twelve pack in three days.

Happy safe humping!